This Is Our Lives

Kim married Martyn on 18th September 1993. It was a beautiful sunny day and my niece Allison told her mum that in honour of the occasion she would not wear trousers, but would put on a dress or a skirt. That however, was as far as the concessions would go and she was not prepared to wear a pair of court shoes or ballet pumps, preferring to stick with her comfortable Doc Martens.

This was Kim's second marriage, her first to Andrew Simposn having ended in divorce a few years previously. In hind sight perhaps there was something prophetic about the date of her first marriage on April 1st, but for many years it was a marriage that she was very happy in and it did give her three daughters, Allison, Carol and Nicola.

It's strange how looking at photographs unlocks memories and helps to clarify situations in your mind. The day that Carl married Vanessa was such a mixture of emotions. It was a beautiful day and a lovely wedding. Vanessa had planned a day that was slightly unconventional, but very much reflected both hers and Carl's personalities. I can remember that Eric was really happy that Carl had found somebody that he loved and seemed to have found a place in life where he was happy and comfortable.

But, at the time we didn't know about Carl's colitis or his depression and the difficulties that it was causing him. As enjoyable as the wedding itself was, even on the day there was a difficult situation when Eric's friend and his wife who had been invited to the day, disappeared as we entered the church, not to be seen again. During the reception, Eric phoned to see what had happened to them only to be told that Bill had decided that he no longer wanted to be his friend, nothing had happened to trigger this, it merely came out of the blue. Looking back this was indicative of the day, nothing was as it appeared on the surface. Sadly, Carl's marriage lasted less than a year. We learned later that even before the marriage he and Vanessa were having difficulties as he felt that his depression was dragging her down.

Nearly seven years on, Carl will soon remarry. He seems more content than for a long time and unlike Vanessa, Joss has seen Carl at his lowest as well as at his best. All we ever want for our children is for them to be happy and I know that Eric really hopes that this time Carl will find lasting happiness and a life style that he can cope with.